In Spring Flowers Bloom

In spring, when the flowers bloom

You are sure to forget your impending doom

It’s that time of the year once again

When a beautiful smile on your face remains

To see the flowers in their full blossom

To feel the breeze in your hair is awesome

It matters not what troubles you have

To dance freely is all that you’re bound to crave

In spring, everything is brighter and prettier

Oh, how it makes life so much sweeter

The colors of life are all around you

And the flowers bathing in the morning dew

Isn’t it true how much your soul soars?

During the springtime, nothing ever bores

You feel like whistling all the time

It’s as if the whole world now rhymes

The slush of weather changing before you

All the happy emotions it invokes are true

But not for long, what thrives must also wilt

Until then soak in its bedazzling tilt

So, dance away among the flowers

Let your soul sing songs of power

Let your spirit soar as high as the sky

Soon, these feelings will fade away

And then, it will be time to say

Spring, goodbye!

© 2019, Fizza Younis. All Rights Reserved.


Although the spring season is almost over, I thought I would write something for it anyway. I entered this poem in a competition on Wattpad and it was inspired by one of their prompts. Not sure if I’d win or not. I rarely win at these things. Still, I enjoyed writing this piece and wanted to share it with you all. I hope everyone enjoyed Spring. It is my third favorite season of the year. To be honest, I am not really a fan of flowers but they are pretty. Personally, I much prefer Autumn and Winter. In any case, enjoy reading and have a wonderful day, everyone.

On the side note, I took a little break last week. Initially, I was planning to go on a mini-vacation but that was postponed. Later, I thought that since I had already announced my absence why not just take a break so that’s exactly what I did. I read my favorite novels and watched movies all week long. It was a good week. These days I am needing breaks more and more often. But that’s a story for another day. For now, bye and take care, people!

Review: Books By Kristan Higgins

So, I picked up Kristan Higgins this weekend. I remember there was a time when I was obsessed with her books.  I had read everything she had published up until a few years ago. Then I took a break, romance got boring for me and her stories got a little bit darker (emotionally). I had all but forgotten about this once-my-most-favorite author Until There Was You. I picked it out from my kindle library, a book that I had read a while back and then forgotten. I read it again and this time I liked it more than I did the first time. I was hooked after reading the first few pages. I literally couldn’t put it down and after a long, long time I stayed up late for a book.

It was such an amazing feeling. Seriously, I had not remembered how much emotional her books made me feel. I don’t know how she does it. It is not like her books are some out of the world stories. I have read stories like her from other authors. But no one can make me cry the way Kristan Higgins does. Even when she is not writing a tragedy. It is the words she chooses and the way she writes. Once again, I fell in love with her work and decided to read her latest releases which I had not read before.

Now That You Mention It

And what an amazing emotional rollercoaster this one was! A story that starts with a near-tragedy but ends on a happy note. A story of love, betrayal, secrets, and heartbreaks. It was a truly beautiful book. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Even though it more on the long side, I still read it within a day.

Now That You Mention It

There was another reason why I loved this book and that was, I could relate to it at some level. Dealing with family members who are not what seems to be. Even though you live together and you think that you know them, still, there can be so much under the surface and you can never guess how they will end up reacting to certain situations. In this story, we see on such family; unhappy in their own way. It takes them more than twenty years to figure out things but the good thing is that they did, to some extent anyway.

Nora has not returned to her small island town since the day she left for college. She has never even thought about returning until one day when she is hit by a truck and things come into perspective. Everyone needs their family and she does too. So, she thinks about it just for a moment and decides to go back. Unfortunately, she soon realizes that might not have been such a great idea after all. It seems that either no one remembers her at all or they still remember her as the way she was in her teenage. Her mother and niece aren’t welcoming either. And nothing seems to be going well for her. A lot of old, buried memories are resurfacing and soon she will have to decide whether to wallow in her self-pity or take charge.

One other thing about Higgins books that I really love is that she takes time with her characters. They are real people, with real emotions, real problems and you can connect with them. Also, the main characters are not always the sole focus of the story side characters are given their due. You get to know them just as well as you get to know the two main characters. I think that’s really brilliant because it isn’t often the case in romance novels where authors usually just focus on two leads and the whole story revolves around them. In Higgins books that’s not the case. You will get to know their friends, family, neighbors, etc. In my experience, that makes these stories all the more interesting and fun to read.

I would say it is a five out of five stars read. I enjoyed it, loved the story, and thought that the entire premise of this novel is really interesting.

Good Luck With That

From the start, this story intrigued me but then it really depressed me. Seriously, this is the most messed up novel I have ever read. Every single character in this book has some kind of mental health issue or other health issues. I kid you not! I think I know more about mental illnesses than I ever did before. So, as you can imagine it is most definitely not a fun chick-lit story you might be hoping for. It is dark, it is sad, it is pathetic, it is annoying, and all the things in between.

Good Luck with That

The story revolves around three friends. These girls met once as teenagers when they went to a summer camp to lose weight. These three girls are what you would call ‘fat’ or ‘over-weight.’ They have serious elf-esteen issues. All three comes from different families and as the story progresses we will see how their families supported them and how their families destroyed them too. Each has family problems of their own. They have faced social anxieties and a lot of other issues related to ‘fat shaming.’

Then, one of them dies due to her obesity. I won’t go into details but her aka Emerson’s was the saddest story. She had no one who genuinely cared about her and she died a very sad and depressed person. But she left a sort-of-will or last wish for her friends to fulfil. Adn that is how Georgia and Marley’s journey begins. We see how they deal with personal problems and their lack of love lives. They ahve different personalities and has different ways of looking at life. We get to see so many perspectives here and all liked together. The best think about this book was its characters. They are all very well-developed and they grow as the story progresses. I really liked that part of it.

I liked it and I read it all. It was a three out of five stars read for me. Not bad but nothing exceptional either. There was a lesson in this sadness. But pick it up only if you’re not easily depressed. I will not suggest it as light reading. It made me ugly cry.


P.S. I have tried not to give any spoilers but if I did, I apologize for that. Do let me know who is your favorite romance/chick-lit author. I’d love to hear all about them.

Fiction Friday: The Love You Know

“Do not compare your love with mine. You don’t love me, you worship me. You have this image in your head, of perfection, you don’t see my flaws. You only see what you want to see but I am not this person, Andy. I’m sorry but I am not. One of these days you are going to wake up and realize that. Then where would we be? You’d get distant then you will begin to hate me. This isn’t loving, I don’t know what it is, but I see all your faults and love you regardless. I know how fickle you can be, I know your darkest secrets and they don’t matter to me. Today, tomorrow, a hundred years from now, my love will be the same. Why? Because it is not an illusion and I am not blinded by my emotions like you are.”

“So, what exactly are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying that you need to open your eyes. You need to see me, the real me, the person I actually am and then decide whether you can still love me or not.”

“You think I am stupid, right? God forbid anyone with IQ level less than yours, you look down upon me. See, I do know your flaws too. You consider yourself some kind of a genius who knows everything. Well, guess what? That only shows how much you don’t know.”

“That’s harsh. I don’t think of myself as better than everyone else or more intelligent or anything of the sort. You’re hurt and you are lashing out.”

“Shut up! Shut up and stop telling me about my own feelings. You think you know everything. You don’t know me as well as you presume.”

“I know you pretty well and I know exactly what you are thinking right now.”

“Oh yeah? Okay, tell me. What am I thinking, miss smart ass?”

Naveen looked at me as if I had lost my mind. It was the first time I had ever raised my voice with her but I couldn’t help it. She was controlling, manipulative, and possessive. You see, I did know all her faults and still loved her. She was my soul mate, there was no one else for me. That day she questioned my feelings because I had always ignored her less than perfect self. She thought I had no idea what kind of a woman she was. I resented that she thought so little of me.

“You do see me,” she whispered as if in a trance. Unfortunately for her, it was too late. I had already cut her throat with the blade in my hand. She should have let me shave before she had started her ridiculous rant. Her blank, lifeless eyes stared at me shock evident in them. She thought she knew me. I bet she didn’t expect that. Finally, she had gotten what she deserved.

Don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t the only one to be blamed. In truth, I had played a role too. She was a beautiful woman, an actress who ruled so many hearts. When I first met her, I couldn’t believe my luck and when she had asked me out it was a dream come true. For a while everything was perfect. I adored her and treated her like the queen of my life. In hind side, I shouldn’t have let her walk all over me but I was in awe of her angelic persona and her feminine wiles. Little did I know that it would change me for the worst.

She had always treated me as her pet, never her partner. She would throw a ball and I would fetch it for her. At first, I didn’t think anything wrong with it. Eventually, I began to question our relationship. Was she my master or was she my wife? One thing led to another and my love for her vanished into the thin air. She was so accustomed to being loved and adored that she didn’t even notice the change in me. Well, she had never paid much attention to me anyway.

It saddens me to think that there was a time when Naveen and I were the talk of the town; beauty and her beastly husband. No one understood why she married someone like me. Unlike all those people, I knew her true face and I hated the devil in her. That day I walked out of our apartment, changed my identity and never looked back.

©  2019, Fizza Younis. All Rights Reserved.

Monday Musings: How Are You?

Hello,

Dear followers and random readers!

How have you all been? I genuinely want to know so don’t hesitate and let me know how you are these days? If you want to rant about something go ahead. If you have any questions for me, ask away. If you want to give me any suggestions, here is your chance because I am all ears today.

Today, I am full of questions. I want to know who are the people reading my blog. Did you drop by randomly or are you a follower? How did you find this blog? And what made you stay? Are you a book lover or not? Do you enjoy reading short stories and poetry? What is your favorite genre? Do you like what I post or not?

I can keep going but I think that’s enough curiosity for one day. Wait, one last question, pretty please! I was wondering which one of my posts do you love the most; Friday Fiction short stories, Sunday’s Book posts or Monday Musings poetry and thoughts?

I am looking forward to hearing from you. You can comment on this post or use this contact form: https://iambookseater.wordpress.com/contact/ or you may also email me at freeverse88@gmail.com. I promise I will try to respond to each and every one of your comments/emails.

P.S. I want to let you guys know that I won’t post anything coming weekend. I am taking a little impromptu trip to a place I love. I will share later, until then, I hope all is well in your little corner of the universe. Be happy, keep smiling, and read more.

love,

Fizza

The Embrace of a Lover by Fizza Younis

She was not a normal person that much was true, yet she wanted a normal life. That was probably too much to ask for because even normal people find it difficult to live normally and there, she was… What right did she have to be alive let alone to live in peace and harmony? Some people should never be born and she was one such soul. You might think that I was being harsh but if you knew what I did, you would be agreeing with me. You couldn’t deny the truth just to be kind.

“What are you reading?”

“Something called A Life We Are Afraid to Live.”

“Is it any good?”

“It is about a woman who sold her soul to the devil in order to fulfill her dreams,” I said as I closed the book and put it away.

“Really?” Stacey looked at me amused at my choice of reading material.

“Please, hand me that chisel,” she said, “it’s over there, right by the sink.”

I handed it over to her. She had been working on her new project and I was already feeling neglected.

“What are you doing here anyway?” She asked, bent over her work table.

“I wanted to see if you were still alive or not,” I tried to joke about it even though I wasn’t laughing at all.

“So, we are back to being cling,” she said without humor, “are we?”

“Come on,” I said in a way of complaining, “I haven’t seen you in days.”

“Yes, because I have been busy and there is no law that says we have to see each other every single day.”

“Not a law,” I said, “perhaps, but I want to see you more often.”

“You know what,” she was annoyed, I could see it in her eyes, “this is not going to work if you can’t accept that my work comes first.”

“That’s harsh.” Well, that was Stacey to you, always brutally honest.

“Whatever, it’s the truth. It is so rare for me to get inspired these days. I don’t want to constantly worry about your feelings.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you are really mean.”

“Yeah, at least a dozen people have told me this. Must we do this now?”

“No, not at all,” I was saddened by her easy disregard for me, “I am leaving. Call me whenever you are finally free or not.”

I left with a heavy heart because I knew I won’t be hearing from her. I wasn’t sure if that was what I wanted or not. One thing was clear, we weren’t compatible and it was better this way. Then, she surprised me.

“Where are you right now?” Stacey said as soon as I picked up my phone. It was the middle of the night and I was half asleep.

“I am at home, where else,” I wasn’t in the mood to be polite.

“Can you come over?”

“Now?”

“Yes, it is important.”

“Okay,” I hated that I said okay but there was no way I could refuse her anything. Damn, I was in deep trouble. This woman had a hold over my heart she didn’t even deserve, or so I thought.

When I reached her place, I saw that the lights were all off. I rang the bell and waited for her to open the door for me. She didn’t, I waited for about fifteen minutes and then called her. This time she didn’t pick up the phone. That worried me a little because she was expecting me. I tried knocking, still nothing. Then I decided to try her workshop at the back of her house. She could be working late.

“Hello,” I called out seeing that the lights were on. “So, she must have been working,” I thought to myself. I tried the door; it was open so I went in. I saw the sculpture she was working on the other day. It was now complete and it took my breath away. She was definitely talented there was no doubt in that at least. I wondered if this was how she saw us, two people deeply in love and her work portrayed that feeling so beautifully. I felt that she was telling me something through her art. Was she or was I reaching for something that wasn’t there? It could be a random work, who knew where she got her inspiration from.

“Hello? Stacey,” I called out again. There was no answer. I looked around and she was nowhere to be found. That was odd. I tried calling her again but still, no answer. I waited for about an hour and then went back home. It was so like her, she roused me from my slumber, asked me over and then went somewhere else. As if I didn’t matter. As if I wasn’t important. Everything was always about her, her work, her home, her family, her… her… her. Where was I in our relationship anyway? In her life, there was no place for anyone else. She was all she wanted and needed. That night I made the decision and left her for good. I was offered a job in the city but I was reluctant only because of her. It was foolish when she didn’t even want me in her life, at least, not in the way I wanted her.

The next day, I packed up my bags and left. Since then I had not looked back. I don’t know where she is now. I don’t know how her life turned out to be. To be honest, she didn’t try to reach me either but then, what else did I expect from her? I do sometimes visit art galleries in the hope of finding her work displayed somewhere, no such luck though. She remained an unknown artist from an unknown town, no one even knows about.

#

Five years later

As I was walking down the street, I heard someone calling my name. I looked and saw one of my old buddies walking towards me.

“Hey, Mark,” he said as he approached me, “is that really you? Long time and no see, huh.”

“How are you?” I said as I shook his hand and gave him a half hug while patting him on the back, “it’s good to see you, man.”

“I am fine. How have you been?” He asked smiling from ear to ear, “how is Stacey?”

“I am good. No idea about Stacey though. Why do you ask?”

“You mean that you two are not together anymore?” He said because I must have looked confused at the mention of her name.

“No, you know I left town and we just drifted apart.”

“Really? So, you didn’t leave town together?”

“She left too?”

“Yeah, the same day as you did or so everyone seemed to think. No one has seen her after you left. We just assumed that the two of you had run off to the city together.”

“Nah, I left on my own,” I said feeling surreal, “I have no idea where she is.”

“Anyway, how long are you going to stay?” He asked changing the subject.

We talked for a while and then I excused myself. My mind was a mess and I kept thinking about Stacey. Even though I hadn’t seen her in the last five years she still had the ability to render me senseless. That night, when she called me and then vanished what had happened that night? When I started digging, I found out that no one had seen her since that fateful night. Her house was sold and she was gone for good.

Stacey had always been flighty. I would believe anything about her except that she left her artwork behind. That was one aspect of this story I simply could not stomach. The Stacey I knew would never do that. Her work was her life. There was nothing in this world she loved more than that. So, what happened to her?

I had raised questions and now others were curious too. Soon, search to find her was underway. We talked to everyone we knew and everyone who knew us. We asked questions; who saw her last? Where did they see her? When did they talk to her for the last time? There was much to be considered.

In the end, it turned out that I was the last person to talk to her. As I had feared, the night she called me over was the last time anyone heard from her. Her house had been sold a few weeks before that. So, she had planned to move but why not pack properly and say her goodbyes? Why on earth did she leave at night, taking nothing with her and telling no one? Also, why did she call me that night? These questions now plagued my every waking moment. I was a man obsessed.

A few days later I went to her old house. The new owners were good people. They had no use for her workshop so they had left it as it was. All her artwork, some complete and some incomplete, sat there collecting dust. As I looked around, I became nostalgic. How many days and nights she had spent in this room and how many arguments we used to have about it, right here, in this very place.

Her last sculpture was exactly where I had seen it that night. It truly was a magnificent piece. I moved towards it, looking at it closely and realizing how much it truly resembled us. Two people embracing each other, clearly in love. The woman was exactly how I remembered Stacey and the man was definitely in my image.

Wait, what was that? As I moved closer, I saw that there were tears in the female’s eyes. Wasn’t she smiling just a moment ago? As I extended my hand to touch her face, I watch bewildered as she closed her eyes and gave me the saddest smile anyone could muster up. And then, I knew. I finally realized the truth, as inconceivable and as strange as it was, but it was also right in front of my eyes.

I looked, unable to move as she too extended her hand toward me. I hesitated only for a moment and then put my hand in hers. The next thing I knew, she was in my arms and we were both gazing into each other’s eyes. The eyes that were wood but as deep as they ever were. Two figures preserved for eternity. It was the best moment and the perfect end to our love story that never was.

#

“And here is the famous artwork by Stacey Miller. Her final piece that made her famous. Even after fifty years of it being found in her abandoned workshop, it is still the most talked about piece of art in modern history. They say that she drew it in her and her lover’s image. The stories around this piece are so magical that sometimes it becomes difficult to distinguish them from myths. It was found in her workshop long after she was gone. No one really knows why she never tried to sell any of her later work, but one thing is for sure, this work is timelessly beautiful and it has immortalized her.” The instructor was talking while the students looked at the sculpture showcased in all its glory in the Art Museum of this small town.

© 2019, Fizza Younis. All Rights Reserved.


This story was first published at Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/717555167-the-embrace-of-a-lover-together-forever

It is also available to be added to your Goodreads shelf. Kindly, do that also leave a review if you like. Thanks!

P.S. What do you think of the cover that I created using Canva?

The Embrace of a Lover

Missing You: Let’s Meet Again!

Another weekend came and went,

Still not a single word from you, my friend!

Remember all that planning we did one noon?

Or have you forgotten it all so soon?

Do not make me wait until our hair turn grey,

Let’s meet already, my friends, you make me happy and gay.

Because I miss you all so very much,

It is not really a lot to ask, as such.

So, my friends, let’s meet again,

Before the summer heat causes us pain.

Who knows how long we’re going to be here,

Let’s make haste before life dares to interfere.

© 2018, Fizza Younis. All Rights Reserved.


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I literally wrote this piece for my friends, last year. I hadn’t seen any of them in ages and was missing them like crazy. We kept planning to meet but every time one of us would have something else (more important stuff) to do and the plan would be postponed.

No kidding!

We planned for about a year before finally managing to get together. Even then not everyone made it. At that time, I strongly felt that we were being silly and just letting the time slide us by. Somethings in life don’t seem important until we no longer have them Good friends are like that. You know you can call them, text, or even see them whenever you like. Yet, you keep finding excuses not to do it, always telling yourself that there is no hurry. You think your friends will always be there for you but surprise, surprise, that’s not entirely true…

Well, I have lost many friends to time. We grew up, we lost touch, we moved away… and what not! I suppose this is also a part of life. When you reach a certain age your circle becomes very, very small. Everyone seems to be busy with their own lives, families, jobs, hobbies… and suddenly they don’t have time for each other.

These days I find myself thinking about past friendships. So, I thought I would share this fun little poem with you all and remind you that life is short, don’t lose friendships over silly things like too much work or not enough time. If we try we can all make time for the things that are truly important. It is no hardship and you know it.

My Favorite Thrillers and Mysteries

I think I have talked about almost all the genres I love and read. Now it is time to look at what specific books I have read and loved within these genres. This week I want to talk about thrillers specifically. Although many thrillers also involve mystery so from my experience these two genres go hand in hand. It is not my preferred genre to be completely honest. But I do enjoy a good thriller now and then. I haven’t read too many though so don’t expect a long post.

Where to start? I will start with the most thrilling story I have ever read and then we will go to less thrilling and more mysterious ones. How does that sound?

I want to say Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn but I won’t. Firstly, because I am quite sure I have already talked about this book in one of my previous posts, at length. Secondly, because no, it is not the most thrilling story I have ever read. It is quite thrilling but not the bets thriller out there, for sure.

The Medea Complex by Rachel Florence Roberts

Now, here is a book that is both chilling and thrilling. It is a psychological thriller set in the past, so, a historical fiction. I think the setting has added to its value as a thriller because, boy oh boy, were people weird back in the days or what? It is actually inspired by the true events of the Victorian era.

The Medea ComplexThe story is quite disturbing, as one would expect from a thriller. Anne Standbury did something terrible and the found herself in a mental institution of the Victorian era. She has been declared as insane. He husband is grieving and he will have your sympathy right from the beginning. As the story will progress, the mystery around the couple will be unraveled and leave the readers baffled. It is a perfect tale of love, conspiracy, and insanity. I had really loved it when I read it back in 2014. I think it is to this day my favorite thriller.

Miss Me When I’m Gone by Emily Arsenault

This one is more of a mystery than a real thriller. But you know, as I said mysteries and thrillers often go hand in hand and it can become a little difficult to separate them. This was an average story to be sure. Still, my thrillers list is not so long and out of five (or so), it was definitely a three. 😉

Miss Me When I'm Gone

An author suddenly dies and everyone thinks that it was just an accident. Then, her friend finds her last manuscript, unpublished work and realizes that there might be more to her friend’s death than everyone thought. There are clues that could lead to her killer.

An interesting story o be sure, but not too well-written in my opinion. Still, give it a go you might enjoy it more than I did.

#

Do you enjoy spy thrillers? I haven’t read many recently but there was a time when I used to love them a lot. Mostly, in the Urdu language though so no point sharing here. However, if you do read Urdu book you must have heard of Imran Series by Mazhar Kaleem. Anyhow, I did read a Spy thriller recently and that made me nostalgic for the time when those novels were all I used to read. Here is little about this book.

London Calling by Veronica Forand

It is a very fast paced story about covert operations, double agents, and international terrorism. The best part about this novel was its characters. I think they were all very well written and made the story all the more interesting. And as is the case in most English Spy thrillers I have encountered, Russians are involved. (hehehe) In any case, it is a good story and I’d definitely recommend it to fans of mysteries and thrillers.

London Calling

You may check out my detailed review of London Calling at Goodreads if you wish to know more about it: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2745632979

Next one on my list today is a mystery rather than a thriller. It is written in a very lighthearted way. I enjoy mysteries like this; cozy mysteries. They are always fun to read when you want to shake things up but don’t want the gory details about murders and mayhem. These days cozy mysteries are at the top of my reading lists. I have so much fun solving these murders through such fun characters, that make me laugh along the way.

Murder of a Chocolate-Covered Cherry (A Scumble River Mystery #10) by Denise Swanson

Murder of a Chocolate-Covered Cherry (A Scumble River Mystery, #10)

The lead character in this story is so adorable. I really enjoyed reading it.  Skye Danison is no cook but her mother bullies her into entering this contest. Apparently, it is a big deal and she couldn’t avoid it no matter how much she wanted to. But the contestants are not really what she had expected and no one seemed to be getting along well. There is trouble brewing from the very beginning and things might just get worse soon. Then one of the contestants is found dead, drowned in chocolate and thus our mystery begins. The suspect list is too long and the danger is very much real.

#

So, this is a short list of the books I found thrilling and exciting to read. let me know your preference and any thrillers on your lists. I am thinking of reading Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins and You by Caroline Kepnes soon. Both seem like a worthy read. What do you think?


P.S. So, is Goodreads reading my mind or what? Last time I thought of posting about romance novels and the next thing I knew Goodreads had a romance week. This time it is Mysteries & Thrillers week. So strange or maybe I keep guessing what Goodreads is going to post and start writing about that. Who knows!

Happy Beginnings: To Fall In Love Or Not To?

“I find it sad that you have never been in love.”

“Why, what is sad about it?”

“I think everyone should fall in love at least once in their lives.”

“I really don’t see how it is so important. Not everyone can find their perfect match. Falling in love might be okay for some people but not for everyone.”

“You don’t understand and you never will, unless you do fall in love. Then, you will realize what I meant when I said this. Only people in love or those who have been in love will understand the real beauty of it all.”

“Okay, then let’s agree to disagree because we both know I am not the falling-in-love kind of person. I will have to live with my ignorance in this matter.”

“I think you should keep an open mind. You never know what might happen next.”

“True enough but I highly doubt it. If I didn’t fall in love during my teenage and my twenties then it is doubtful that I will now. Now, I don’t even believe in love and fairytales. Those things are for the kids.”

“You did not just say that! That is such a sad way of thinking.”

“Oh, come one, it is no big deal. I don’t want to moon over someone anyway. Why would I when my life is so perfect? Also, I have you.”

“No, you don’t have me. My husband has me.”

We both laughed at that. Such was our friendship and such were the times I miss. She was the woman in love. Her entire life revolved around her husband and I was a man adrift. I don’t even know what my life was all about. We were happy though, our friendship had survived through decades. We even managed to stay friends when girls and boys seem to hate each other. We stayed friends when everyone else was falling in love. Our friendship was legendary but that is all it was. That is all it could have ever been.

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When she fell in love, dated, and got married, I was there. I supported her in everything she did and she returned that favor. I never dated and I was not the kind of person who would settle down. I had always had a restless soul. I wanted more, I was searching for something that remained elusive no matter how hard I tried.

There weren’t many people in my life. My parents and she were the only constants, rest came and went. I don’t even remember their faces now, let alone their names. When my parents died I was torn apart. I was a mess, I had no idea how even survived the tragedy. It was because of her. She was there to help me through the troubling time. Unfortunately, that ended up destroying her perfect fairytale of a marriage. Her husband became jealous of me for the first time. Until then he had always seemed okay with our friendship but the more she consoled me the more they grew apart and I can never forgive myself for destroying her happily-ever-after.

If you asked her, she would deny it and tell you that her marriage wasn’t working long before that. They had fallen out of love, as she put it. I don’t believe her though. I know how jealous her husband had become of our easy friendship. Since I never dated or got married, he used to say that it was because I was in love with his wife. The idiot! He had something most men would die for and he ruined it. There is no other woman on this planet like her. She is kind, loving, caring, and when she loves someone she loved them to the very extreme. She would do anything for them. Honestly, there was a time when I wished for that kind of love in my life. It never happened though, it wasn’t supposed to.

Anyway, as I was saying, our friendship destroyed her love life. Which lead me to believe that friendship is stronger than love anyway. Don’t you think so? I don’t think I am ever going to start believing in love stories. My friend’s bad experience is not the first tragic end I have come across in my lifetime. People who believe themselves to be in love do stupid things for it and in the end, all they receive is heartache and a broken soul. She used to say that she felt sorry for me because I had never been in love and I feel sorry for her because she had. I don’t know if there is an easy answer to this question. I suppose it depends on how you look at love and life. Such are the matters of hearts.

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We are both in our forties now. Our friendship has only grown with time. It is the two of us against the world these days. As far as I am concerned it is more than enough because if you have one good friend in your life then that’s all you need. Life is good, we are good. Yesterday, she proposed to me. I was shocked as you might imagine but when I thought about it, us being together made sense. I never considered myself as the marrying kind but if I were to marry someone then there is no one better than Helen. I am not in love with her, I will never be, yet I love her. What could be better than spending the rest of your life with your best friend, with one person on this planet who have always supported you and has been there for you? So, yes, I said yes.

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He is an idiot, has always been. He thinks I was in love with my ex, I don’t think so. Maybe at the times, I believed myself to be in love with him but I was proven wrong. My ex knew that so obviously our marriage wasn’t perfect. My heart belongs to someone else and always had. It took me a while to realize this but I am in love with Josh, my best friend. He is the only person who knows the real me. He knows all my faults and accepts me anyway. So, is it any wonder that I fell in love with him?

I waited for him to realize this. I waited for years but he is adamant that he will never fall in love. He doesn’t believe in fairytales and I am tired of waiting. So, yes I proposed and he accepted. I never thought that he wouldn’t, not even for a second. His rational mind will not let him say no to what he would consider a logical thing to do. So what he would never say, I love you? So, what if he would never admit that he is indeed in love with me? I can live with that. At least, he respects me and supports me in whatever I do.

We were meant for each other, everyone said so. Now, I have taken a leap of faith and made sure that all our dreams come true. We will be together forever. Our story has a happy beginning and I think it will end well too. But that, only time will tell.

© 2019, Fizza Younis. All Rights Reserved


P.S. Do let me know what you think of this story. It was inspired by a couple I know and a little bit on my own personal views. I hope I did the story justice and also, I hope that you enjoy it. Thank you!

Monday Musings: Lost (A Poem)

I have seen many faces, I have known many names,

But in the end, I am left alone, what a shame!

With tears in my eyes, even my last hope dies,

Now, my only companions are woes and worries.

Love and care mean nothing at all,

Family, friends, relatives are lost to me.

I was unable to notice it and now it is just too late,

No one has ever entered this gate.

It is a mistake still this chance I want to take,

A chance to find what I have lost, no matter the cost!

© 2018, Fizza Younis. All Rights Reserved


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I think we all feel unloved, misunderstood, and a little lost from time to time. I also went through that phase a while ago. I am not sure if I got over it or not, but I have lost quite a few friends/relative over time, along the way. And as much as it pains me to admit this, I have become very self-centered these days. Now, I value my peace of mind more than anything and anyone else. If a situation or a person threatens my peace, I don’t bother continuing associating with them at all.

True, for a long time I was lost. I have found myself though and I am no longer willing to let go of myself ever again. It’s me, I am it, I am the only person I need, I am the only one who will ever take care of me. Knowing this has made things a lot easier to understand and accept. I no longer feel lost and don’t even case if I am being misunderstood. My priorities have changed and pleasing others is no longer a concern. Living in a society that believes in collectivism rather than indivisualism, I am breaking conventions and I must say it feels good.